where do I live?

When someone asks me where I live, I have a number of responses depending on the context of our conversation and level of familiarity. But usually the answer is that I live in Stith (the building) and/or that I live with Abby. Of course I also live at my home with my family, but that's really talking about where I'm from.

But when I think about living in a building or even a room, it's kind of silly. I sleep in Stith and during finals I study in Stith but most of the things which I would consider living - hanging out and talking and eating and learning and worshiping and driving down Richmond Road at a heart-pounding 26 miles per hour and shopping and planning and running around and other things - all of those things, I do outside of Stith. So I really live in Williamsburg and mostly I live on the campus of William and Mary because that's where my life is happening.

Sometimes even this isn't true. Sometimes I spend my time on campus or in Stith or at home in nova and that's still not where I live. Sometimes I actually feel like I live in a number of other places, including but not limited to: Hogwarts (but actually), the internet, my head, the past, a land where all that matters is my ability to form the projection of a vector onto a column space, Katie's room, a real-life board game, Kanto, the set of a movie that's starring me, Morton, and my bed.

I don't think that any of those are very healthy places to live and I certainly think that we were created to live in the present (while still being able to learn from and analyze and plan for the past and future). So should I live in Stith or should I just live? I don't think it's really "just living" because I think it's actually kind of a big deal to be alive and to exist as I am. I don't think for a single day that this is all that matters: that my grades and what I wear and what people think of me define me or give me worth. Living purposefully and passionately requires me to live and not just exist and it requires me to live in the present and it requires me to live a life of love. Where I reside or happen to sleep should actually be the least of my concerns when I think about how I will live in the future: the question should not be where but in what manner and to what end?

Food for thought for future Marisa: where I live senior year is about as nbd as it gets. And where I live and what I do career-wise after that is similarly inconsequential given that I'm doing it for the right reasons and with the right attitude. This will be hard to accept when that time comes but it will not be any less true.

finals

things which have been substituted for meals:

• cupcake
• reindeer chow
• peanut m&m's
• red machine naked

things that have recently become super active:

• apo family on facebook
• overheard at william and mary
• my tumblr
• words with friends

things that now live in my bed:

• my laptop
• me
• my water bottle
• everything important

things I have watched since classes ended (five days ago):

• Love Actually
• Friends
• The Office
• Glee
• New Girl
• How I Met Your Mother

things I have accomplished this week:

• skimmed the readings I was supposed to do throughout October and November
• finished an exam in 70 minutes
• discovered new music on spotify
• beat Abby in words with friends....four times

resting

I've been thinking a lot about resting recently, probably because free time has become very scarce in my life lately. When I have time and nothing to do, my traditional approach to rest is threefold: getting on facebook until it bores me, watching tv until I've caught up on everything and then taking a nap until I have to do other things.

But I don't think that these are very restful at all. And I don't think that they're all that's meant for me. I think I'm meant for a satisfying kind of rest - one that doesn't just fill me up provisionally and one that isn't limited to a block of 2.5 hours between class and dinner.

I used to think that all that the Bible had to say about rest was this: take one day a week (the Sabbath) and be restful. Just don't do anything on that one day and then you'll be set for the week. I learned as I grew up that it didn't mean do literally nothing - but to take a break from work/toil. So to me that looked like taking a break from homework and going to church to worship God.

But God has a lot more to say about rest. Because I have a paper due tomorrow I won't go through instances where the Bible specifically talks about it, but it's an important topic that does get a lot of attention throughout the scriptures. Resting isn't doing nothing - it's doing something other than our usual schedule of work - it's fellowship, appreciating art, acknowledging the beauty of creation and the Creator. But even when I'm held to my strict/hectic/ridiculous schedule, there's another kind of rest that I can enjoy: resting in my identity in Christ. Resting in who I am and how that's not dependent on how I mess up. Resting in the fact that there is a plan for me and that my worrying about the future has no effect on it, so I might as well quit my complaints and start appreciating the journey. Resting assured, if you will.

So even though I'm not getting to sleep when I want to sleep or to catch up on Glee right away, and even though I have a lot of work ahead of me for finals, and even though I'm not sure what I'll be doing to make myself feel productive once winter break hits, I'm feeling pretty restful. Cool.

black friday

I'm writing this for three reasons:

1. My mom said I should, and in case you're unaware, my mom is the #1 reader of my blog!
2. I should be reading instead but it's a Saturday and you only get so much time to lounge in bed and indulge in reflection on your life.
3. I'm not quite hungry enough for brunch, and I need to wait for the taste of toothpaste to subside a bit before I can eat anyway.

SO. I've now done Black Friday shopping twice in my life. The first time was last year when all I really wanted was a shorter pea coat, so my mom and I went to the mall around 4am and successfully avoided all lines because it turns out the store had opened an hour earlier than we thought. (There were still great deals on pea coats to be had by all.) In that case, my motivation was pretty clear: I needed a specific coat. It was not the terrible experience I had been anticipating and in fact it was somewhat anticlimactic. I went to bed again after shopping and then had a normal holiday weekday.

In the past, I assumed that it was a miserable experience - I was well aware of the tragic tramplings and the campers outside of Best Buy every year. So in order to make my experience and my knowledge work together, I categorized my experience with clothing sales only. It naturally made sense that people would disperse more for clothes than they would for electronics, so even if there were a greater number of buyers, the buyer/store ratio would be lower.

This year I decided I wanted to go to Kohl's, because I needed to go shopping for clothes anyway and I might as well get a good deal. After watching The Muppets (great movie), my mom and sister and I drove to Kohl's....the line outside was massive, stretching all the way around the parking lot. But it was ok - there were a few minutes before midnight and then it would be ok. So we waited in the car until there wasn't a line, and then we went for it. Again, the shopping experience wasn't too hectic. I had to wait for a changing room and it was certainly difficult to navigate around customers when moving between sections of the store, but it was again nbd. Until, that is, I went to look for tights and realized that the line was getting massive. I wandered around the store until I could find the end of it and immediately planted myself there. It had somehow gotten to be 1:30 without my realizing it - which is crazy, because I am a super efficient shopper and if I'm not done in 45 minutes then I get tired and hungry and don't really care about clothes anymore, even the items I'm holding onto.

At the beginning of the line, we were just winding through aisles of the women's department - these were the people who got in line after me!

So this starts part 2 of the Black Friday experience. Eventually my family joined me and after we moved like 20 yards in 20 minutes, we let my sister go sleep in the car. Then my mom and I took turns wandering out of line to forage for good deals/water while the other held down our place in line and socialized with the shoppers immediately in front of and behind us in line. Though all I really wanted was my bed, I also could have gone for a McFlurry or basically anything sweet and cool to make it worth standing for that long. The only really interesting thing that happened was that the guy in front of me found an abandoned cart and began putting his things in it (he had been carrying two shoeboxes, a pillow and a bunch of clothes for his family) - but then an older man came up and asked him what he thought he was doing and took the cart away. Guess it hadn't really been abandoned?

We finally got to a register at 3:20, and though that was a very long line, I have to say that I think it was worth it. If it were any other time of year I would say that waiting in a line for almost two hours is insane...but then I think about Harry Potter and how waiting in that line is always about the experience. And now I've had a real Black Friday experience!

Anyway, after saving tons of money, we went home and my mom made me grilled cheese with bacon and then I went to sleep (by this time it was 4:30). And then I slept for 11 hours. Yay Thanksgiving!

things I'm thankful for

I don't think it's acceptable to only be thankful for things on one day of the year, but I think it's totally okay to publicly acknowledge the things that I've been blessed with so here are the top things on my mind:

• My family...but actually!! Baking with my mom and sometimes reluctant sister, watching so much tv, getting technology fixes from my dad, my lolzy brother, shopping - and the prospect of seeing tons of cousins in a few hours - these all make me so happy. :D
• Friends who think that I'm funny. I know I'm funny but sometimes it's hard to appreciate myself because I'm used to my humor all of the time, so it's really nice when my friends tell me how great I am (whether it's in as many words or just by liking my statuses).
• Dorms...how cool is it that I get to live in a building with tons of friends (and potential friends) and so close to my classes and so many other friends?! SO COOL. I love my neighbors. :)
• Laundry machines! And ovens! And laptops and electricity and and and so much technology that makes it easy for me to waste time but also to allocate it more efficiently (like allowing me to stay up late because there's light so I can read or blog or just hang out).
• Economic theories that make my life make sense. I was thinking about economics on my way home from the mall today and about how my purchasing decisions are influenced by many things (potential future discounts, seasonality of clothing, similarity to clothes I already own, prices compared to similar dresses at other stores [substitutes?], expected usage/value, etc.) and also how my driving route is influenced by similar things (utility gained from taking a quick turn now that will take a set amount of time versus waiting to take a turn and potentially hitting many lights but possibly taking less time because of the increased speed limit). My brain is strange.
• Colored pants...I'm so glad this is a thing.
• An amazing/awkward/adorable roommate who will tell me when the things that I'm wearing really don't work.
• Music and its ability to transcend reason and just be, and how cool it is that we get a kick out of certain songs and how that's just a minor reflection of how much God loves it when we praise him.

There are so many more things...basically, I am really and truly blessed beyond measure in the fact that I'm alive and in the brain that I have and in the people I'm surrounded by. Yay turkey day!

drawing

I like to draw things when I get bored, which I imagine is a common thing for people. But I don't usually doodle things nor do I create masterpieces...there are really two cases that I am talking about so I'll break off into them now.

1. I'm in math and the prof is being so boring: I will start drawing a pirate or a mermaid or a bird or something that I've never drawn before, just to see what will happen when I start. Sometimes I'll end up drawing a large scene with a shark about to attack a boat and an octopus just chilling deeper in the water...but these turn more into doodles than actual art. Sometimes I (attempt to) draw people that I know. The only criteria is that it is not a series of numbers/letters which will make me confused later in the week.
2. When I want to draw something for someone...I am a terrible, terrible artist so when this happens I will look up a picture online for me to copy and then when it turns out ok-ish, I feel so proud of myself. The good thing about this is that I retain the skills for later - like now I can draw a Pidgey whenever I want, or at least I would be really good at drawing his beak because I distinctly remember how I learned to do that.

Mostly, it is for procrastination. But I can see how other people would find it to actually be fun and I admire real artists a lot after I draw a unicorn and then realize that one of its legs is missing...oops.

And now I'll share my latest math drawing:

"Whatup birdies" - a Marisa Reed original sketch

pokemon tournament

Living in Stith has a lot of advantages:

1. Across from Lucille/Kelliann = baked goods and always someone awake for me to talk to
2. Beneath Katie/Lauren = easy to communicate with someone silly (I can just hit my ceiling)
3. In general surrounded by friends = good times - (that's a minus) having to see people if I don't want to (I can hide in my room) + Marigene doesn't have to hike across campus to visit
4. Bryan camaraderie with the rest of the fire alarm-ousted residents
5. Close to Zable!
6. Building is connected to the building with the laundry so I don't have to go outside
7. Those things above the closets = excellent storage capabilities

I could go on - I love Stith. But aside from these great advantages and the funness of its name, probably the best part so far has been this Stith Pokemon Tournament. Basically, our RA is the coolest person ever and devised a dormwide competition in which everyone who participates gets a Pokemon of their preferred type and then completes tasks in order to raise their Pokemon's stats (think of this like battling wild Pokemon or Bug Catchers). In order to win you only have to be the last man standing...because the scariest thing is that you can battle each other and whoever has better stats will win. In order to evolve you must eliminate a set number of other Pokemon (it differs by person), which is frightening to me because I don't want to attack people...I play defense. Thankfully this all worked out okay because I turned out to be the nice one in the competition and some people ended up attacking me just so that I could level up because I had already proven that I was committed to doing as many tasks as possible. Anyway, in approximately one hour the competition will be over and I'll have come in second place. Before then, here are some of the highlights:

• Becoming friends with Mo, my main competition. He's a really nice guy but I can't help but be a little bit miffed that he got to start with Mew and I started with Pidgey, which is by all accounts a pretty dumb but not entirely useless Pokemon (I did avoid getting Dodrio and Farfetch'd, so there are some bullets dodged).
• Keeping my type advantage against Dan a secret until he attacked me with five witnesses and had to shamefully run away from battle, only to be killed by me the next morning after I had gained some speed points.
• Eating breakfast in my car to avoid being attacked in my room (this was when Mo had committed himself to eliminating me). Also, taking a nap on a couch in Miller to avoid returning to my room (though this one was slightly more attributable to my laziness as a person and not my fear as a Pokemon trainer). Also, random trips to the grocery store to stall returning to my room.
• Pokemon baked goods - Pokeball cupcakes, Venonat cake and normal brownies all in the same night! (Watching boys bake is very silly but still has delicious results.)
• Random adventure to the Muscarelle for pictures by the lights...only at William and Mary are people so into late night adventures.
• Getting our area director's signature and exploring Tribe Square while at it - IT IS SO PRETTY.
• Trying out Pilates...not really a highlight, but it was an interesting experience.
• Reading epic poems about the Bryan Complex (to which Stith Hall belongs)...lolol.
• Strategizing with Katie and Amy.
• Explaining the game to everyone I have seen in the past two weeks.
• Competing against someone on e-team (Dan) made our team much more fun (not that it wasn't already)...also I think Nate was just as into this as I was.
• Meeting all but five of the residents in my building!

Pretty epic for a hall program in an upperclassmen dorm. Basically I have the best RA ever and some really legit neighbors, including Katie who died not once but twice in battle against me.