I wouldn't say I'm one of those anti-Disney people, but being a realist I don't like the fact that kisses can wake people up from enchanted sleep. So I looked up the original Grimm version of the story and decided that I was ok with the kiss.
Things that I like about Disney:
- Great songs
- Emphasize dreams and possibilities
- Interested in sustainability
- Great employment opportunities
- Lots of female heroines
Despite common complaints about the depiction of females in Disney movies, I beg to differ. First of all, all of the dead mothers really cared about their kids and if they were alive we wouldn't have much of a movie because then the mothers would be taking care of them. So that semi-negates the women needing saving theme. We still have the trouble of dashing princes being required to save the day in lots of classic princess movies, but I would be much more troubled if the princess always had to save her own back and I think that scenario would be more demeaning to men than the current stereotype is to women. Because don't women want to be saved? As much as I like being independent, if there was someone who I could truly trust I would totally be ok with him saving the day to prove his love for me, because there isn't much else that would prove it to me (take note...I will require someone epic).
Let's look at some examples (by which I mean all of the official princesses) and I'll explain why I'm ok with Disney depictions of romance as long as kids are eventually taught that they aren't reality.
Snow White - I'm not ok with this one at all, actually. She's really cute and likes animals and is kind and not prejudiced, and he can ride a horse. That does not qualify him as her true love, and even then that shouldn't wake her from her poison-induced coma. I do like that he recognizes her from the well and that it isn't merely her beauty that makes him kiss her like in the original tale, but rather her great singing voice and love of animals.
Cinderella - this is more about class distinctions than gender roles, and if the stepfamily were nice they could have saved her but they weren't. So the prince was able to use his resources to pull her out of essential slavery. Where I dislike this movie is in their brief romance and how he falls in love with her based on her beauty and ability to dance, but this is basically true of all Disney movies so I can forgive it. Also, she's brave and resourceful and kind and perfect and she's kind of my favorite classic princess ever. We have again the problem of happily ever after meaning happily paired off with a man and getting married and being rich without working for it, but this is a kid's movie and I'm ok with an idealized view of romance in some cases or else childhood would have been very depressing.
Sleeping Beauty - while I like the idea of a betrothed couple meeting and falling in love without realizing the other's identity, they literally see each other for like two minutes and dance the entire time and then decide they're in love, and Aurora has even less personality than Phillip, who doesn't really have facial expressions. Also, she's sixteen. So I'm not really ok with this one, either. And what a strange way to alter the prophecy/curse. But on the bright side, the fairies save the day in many ways and Aurora is shown to have independent thoughts, so it's definitely a positive take on women (men, as shown by the kings, are not portrayed as very resourceful or nice).
The Little Mermaid - I think Disney basically ruined this story by making it children-friendly, because the original is super interesting and cool. She is supposed to be motivated by a desire for an immortal soul in addition to her love for the prince and her curiosity about the land, and the girl Eric falls for is his betrothed anyway (though tragically he mistakes her for the one who rescued him from the sea). I will defend the movie, though, because she wants the legs not only to meet Eric but also to satisfy her curiosity, making her adventurous and rebellious which is way more than lovesick, as people who bash her story would have you believe. Yes, she trades her voice but she gains the ability to walk, dance, etc. which is clearly an experience she would otherwise never have. Also, in the original she's supposed to experience stabbing pains every time she walks and it ends in tragedy, which of course I am a fan of (but actually it's a way better story). Anyway, she gets to choose her own fate and gets to live happily ever after so I wouldn't say it's entirely a bad moral story.
Beauty and the Beast - this is essentially the best story ever. Ok, some will say that it teaches girls to stick with abusers to change them...but Belle doesn't love him to begin with and only at the end realizes this, so I don't really buy that argument. It teaches all people to love beyond appearances, and in the end she saves him instead of the other way around. Also, she's a nerd and turns down the buff guy. She's awesome. While it still teaches that happily ever after is strictly defined as finding a husband, I'll refer to the Cinderella argument that this is fair because she also gets wealth so this is a fairly good achievement. It's kind of negative in that this means she can't make money for herself, but I would argue that she could live in the village on her own after her dad dies and be fine (like she's on track to do from the beginning by denying Gaston), but she doesn't want that boring life, so choosing the Beast is really about exercising her own free will. It's like the idea of becoming a housewife really being a luxury rather than strict confinement from the workplace, though that's not exactly the implication for the remainder of her life.
Aladdin - I'm not a Jasmine fan, but I suppose she's clever and feisty and holds out for love and someone kind, despite their social ranking, which is a good message. She's not about marrying for money or connections, much like Aurora, which is good though not entirely practical for a princess (but it's ok, I doubt there are many princesses who are taking lessons from her). Her need to marry is about her royal obligation more than monetary necessity so in that sense it doesn't speak to female independence at all except as in line with the social setting, though this could be said of any Disney princess...
Pocahontas - I don't feel qualified to speak on this subject since I haven't seen it in many years, but I would say that if they had stuck to real life events this would be way less kid-friendly. It definitely depicts a strong female character.
Mulan - this is my favorite Disney movie of all time, so I will of course be defending it. Women in Mulan's society are seen as highly superficial with the exception of the tomboyish title character who pretends to be a man not so much motivated by proving herself but rather in order to protect her father from injury and certain death. She has family values and though she realizes that she should be a wife, she doesn't feel cut out for it. In the end, she turns down a man's job so that she can be with her family - which might seem like a blow to feminism, but hey, it's her choice and that's the important part. It says that caring for family is a valid life choice for a woman, even one who isn't really ready to host dinner parties or pour tea. And on a hugely positive note, she doesn't get married at the end, which is great because she hasn't even had a chance to be a woman around Li and so we can imply that they don't have a rushed romance. Though romance and true love is never something she seeks out, we can imagine that she would make a great, courageous wife to a man who is an equal match to her wit. So she wins herself a man - that's kind of an accomplishment and not at all a bad message, because we know she doesn't "need" one, but we also know that defying some gender stereotypes doesn't make her unworthy of finding love.
The Princess and the Frog - I don't think that this was as progressive of a movie as it could have been, but I will say that I don't agree that it is entirely against single working women. I think that a lot of that reflects the society it's set in, and the characters who discourage Tiana from pouring all of herself into her work are trying to encourage her to invest in personal relationships, not necessarily romantic ones, which is a very good message to everyone. Obviously this was going to be a romantic movie, and I think that they did a fine job of displaying an "actual" relationship as opposed to all of the classic princess love stories (granted, this is between frogs and they're only together for a few days, but they got the bickering and flirting right); certainly it's the most like a classic non-animated, non-magical romance movie, yet is still entirely appropriate for kids. Yes, it takes some magic for her dreams to com e true, but we can assume that her hard work would have eventually paid off and that had she quit earlier she never would have achieved her goals.
Tangled - ok, she won't be official until October, but she's in the picture so I'm including her. I would rank her story along with Tiana's (and Mulan's) as being about more than finding love, and the romance being a nice addition to her life. Sure, you wouldn't have much of a movie without it, and it doesn't add much realism to Disney romances, but again we have a strong character who is quite resourceful and delightful on her own. The movie adds a lot more depth to the original story, which pretty much epitomizes damsel in distress being rescued by a dashing prince, so that's a plus. It takes her much longer than the audience to realize her love, and neither of them are motivated by royalty (though of course she is a legit princess), and she actually sacrifices part of her beauty for a good reason (better than Ariel's, at least).
Finally, what these movies overlook:
- Some people are perfectly happy without finding a "true love" or alternatively get married and later realize this was a mistake...or lose a loved one (though this is alluded to by the loss of other family members)
- Real marriages take a lot of hard work...the wedding is never the end of a true life story
- Most people need a lot longer than a few days and songs together to know that they want to spend their lives together
- Some people can love more than one person in their lifetime, and happiness can be found in making a choice to love
But personally, I would not like to be taught these things by singing mermaids or beautiful princesses; from them, I like to learn that courage and kindness pay off and that for some fortunate people there really can exist a happily ever after. Leave the rest of the lessons for the disillusionment of adolescence.
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